How to start healing after a messy break-up

By Liz Paul, Psychotherapist & Counsellor

A messy break-up, especially one you didn’t initiate, can be painful.  But, if you follow these eight tips, you might be able to start the healing process sooner:

  1. Allow yourself to mourn the death of the relationship and the loss of your friend
  2. Stop fighting with your ex… it just prolongs your anger and frustration
  3. Remove your ex, and reminders of your ex, from your life as much as you can
  4. Rely on your friends and family for support and companionship when you are feeling lonely, sad, angry or vulnerable
  5. Treat yourself in ways that make you really happy… and re-discover old things you used to love… and find new things to love
  6. Try to keep negative thoughts about your future in perspective – after all, you are smart and resourceful and as a result you WILL survive and then thrive
  7. Remember you had a lot of good times with your ex… so don’t think of the relationship as a bad mistake, but rather it just wasn’t meant to last forever
  8. Ask yourself if the break-up could be a catalyst to make those significant changes to your life you’ve long been thinking about making

What are the issues for which most people seek assistance?

  • Relationship break-ups
  • Constantly fighting with your partner
  • Loss of intimacy with your partner
  • Communication problems with your partner or child
  • Difficulty parenting toddlers or teens
  • Pre-marriage counselling
  • A child misbehaving
  • Eating disorders
  • Anxiety
  • Family counselling
  • Wanting to separate from their partner amicably
  • Helping the children cope after a relationship break-up
  • Trouble staying in relationships
  • HSC stress for students and their families
  • Relationship commitment issues
  • Problems at work
  • Couple counselling
  • Difficulties with step-children
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Problems with in-laws
  • Substance addiction
  • Facing major life changes
  • Making new life choices
  • Relationship counselling