Sometime’s your partner’s feelings get hurt by something (trivial) you did unintentionally. Why is that?

By Liz Paul, Psychotherapist & Counsellor

When you are in a relationship, it’s normal for each other’s feelings to be hurt occasionally by seemingly trivial things the other person did.

It doesn’t mean something is seriously wrong with your relationship.

It usually occurs because of a simple lack of communication which typically plays out with the ‘offending partner’ being accused of being insensitive or worse.

The problem is either one partner has not properly communicated to the other they have an issue they are sensitive about (be it emotional or physical, for example), or the other partner hasn’t remembered.

Either way, the ‘offending partner’ says or does something which hurts the other’s feelings.  They have fallen into a small hole and need to stop digging before the hole gets too deep to climb out of. Most of us have learnt the hard way that not repairing the damage quickly can lead to serious arguments.

So, how do you repair your partner’s hurt feelings?

  • Apologise early
  • Have a ‘recovery conversation’ once both of you are calm
  • Say something like:  “I can see why your feelings got hurt. That wasn’t my intention, and I am sorry it happened. Your feelings matter to me.”
  • Remember your partner’s sensitivities and respect them.


Liz Paul

Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Sydney Individuals and Couples Counselling
The Lotus Centre

Level 1, 2 - 13 Dale Street,
Brookvale, NSW 2100

Health & Wellness Australia Centre

Suite 2, Ground Floor, 83 Walker Street,
North Sydney NSW 2060

Ph: 0422 306 679

liz@sydneyindividualsandcouplescounselling.com

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