Sometime’s your partner’s feelings get hurt by something (trivial) you did unintentionally. Why is that?

By Liz Paul, Psychotherapist & Counsellor

When you are in a relationship, it’s normal for each other’s feelings to be hurt occasionally by seemingly trivial things the other person did.

It doesn’t mean something is seriously wrong with your relationship.

It usually occurs because of a simple lack of communication which typically plays out with the ‘offending partner’ being accused of being insensitive or worse.

The problem is either one partner has not properly communicated to the other they have an issue they are sensitive about (be it emotional or physical, for example), or the other partner hasn’t remembered.

Either way, the ‘offending partner’ says or does something which hurts the other’s feelings.  They have fallen into a small hole and need to stop digging before the hole gets too deep to climb out of. Most of us have learnt the hard way that not repairing the damage quickly can lead to serious arguments.

So, how do you repair your partner’s hurt feelings?

  • Apologise early
  • Have a ‘recovery conversation’ once both of you are calm
  • Say something like:  “I can see why your feelings got hurt. That wasn’t my intention, and I am sorry it happened. Your feelings matter to me.”
  • Remember your partner’s sensitivities and respect them.

What are the issues for which most people seek assistance?

  • Relationship break-ups
  • Constantly fighting with your partner
  • Loss of intimacy with your partner
  • Communication problems with your partner or child
  • Difficulty parenting toddlers or teens
  • Pre-marriage counselling
  • A child misbehaving
  • Eating disorders
  • Anxiety
  • Family counselling
  • Wanting to separate from their partner amicably
  • Helping the children cope after a relationship break-up
  • Trouble staying in relationships
  • HSC stress for students and their families
  • Relationship commitment issues
  • Problems at work
  • Couple counselling
  • Difficulties with step-children
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Problems with in-laws
  • Substance addiction
  • Facing major life changes
  • Making new life choices
  • Relationship counselling